banned from queeringthemap.com for attempting to tag each stretch of highway where i popped turgid at the sight of a passing driver's truck nuts and those lady cars with the slutty eyelashes

What if a vehicle has both?

i listened to a podcast interview with you once where you paused mid-conversation to take a call from a prospective job and came back to tell the hosts you didn't get it.

So our cat Ravioli sometimes does this thing we've started calling a Ravioli jumpscare where he'll hide next to a door or behind a piece of furniture and wait for us to pass next to him and jump at us lifting both his front paws in the air. So sometimes I'll be working on the living room while my husband is in the bedroom and he'll notice the cat crouching down next to the door and he'll be like "babe can you come in for a sec? The cat wants to jumpscare you"

Art I did at the middle of the night of Cleo

remember that interviews are not about giving a good and honest first impression that they'll carefully consider. interviews are about saying the special words and phrases they're looking for that give you points and when they tally those up whoever earned the most job points wins

they don't want to "know you" they want you to walk in there and regurgitate everything the job description said

isnt even a joke btw if you're autistic and/or unemployed and nobody taught you this yet i'm really sorry

me: hey how do i look

the spiritual manifestation of 2012 justin mcelroy that i trapped inside of a cursed mirror: kinda faggy